The following were especially useful ;-):
4. Feel no pain!
German researchers have discovered that coughing during an injection can lessen the pain of the needle stick.
8. Make burns disappear!
When you accidentally singe your finger on the stove, clean the skin and apply light pressure with the finger pads of your unmarred hand.
11. Stanch blood with a single finger!
Pinching your nose and leaning back is a great way to stop a nosebleed -- if you don't mind choking on your own O positive. A more civil approach: Put some cotton on your upper gums
Now, does anyone know how to remove a football boot from a rather embarrassing place...?