Oh dear God, pass the alcohol, I need to kill some memory cells. That was the worst Late Late Toy Show I have ever seen. It was so cringe worthy, right out of the scripts for The Office or Alan Patridge. From the beginning when Pat Kenny showed up dressed as Darth Vader on a white horse and surrounded by Vikings and Braveheart type soldiers it was clear that this show could only get better.
Unfortunately that was the highlight of the show. No I lie, the highlight of the show was the boxing kangaroo couple who decided to get frisky on the floor of the studio instead of boxing. Poor Jimmy McGee who was supposed to commentate had to shout "This is a childrens toy show" before the director cut to a sudden ad break.
After that we were treated to 2 hours of Pat Kenny being bullied by every kid to wander into the studio. "Pat, we did that in the rehearsals" would have seemed funny in previous years and especially with Gay Byrne, but with Pat it seemed like the 7 year olds were genuinely taking the piss out of him and the look on his face was classic everytime a kid interrupted him.
This may seem cruel but the acts were atrocious, even taking into account the fact they were children. In previous years The Late Late Toy Show has showcased some of the best young talent in the country. This year it must have been the best young talent related to the staff of RTE. The first lad was a 12 year old piano player singing "I believe in Father Christmas" unfortunately it appeared that his voice had broken since rehearsals. At least he could play the piano very well, other acts had less going for them. Obviously parents had shoved them into singing and dancing school and would not let a lack of talent stop them getting their kids on TV.
When Pat brought on a remote control "homeless man" robot the stage crew had obviously given up on him and refused to remove the robot, instead the robot struck up an accordian and rolled around in front of Pat. In desperation Pat pulled off the wig and exposed the innards of the robots head. That was the only way you knew which was the robot and which was the TV presenter.
If you missed it tonight, tape the repeat on Sunday (I think) and use it as a drinking game. Every time Pat cringes at a kid, take a drink, you'll be passed out before the second ad break.