Failed your driving test? Come back in 18 months and pick up your car.

Minister Cullen has once again come up with a headline grabbing idea that any idiot could tell him was a non runner. I am beginning to wonder if the problem actually lies with the civil servants in the Department of Transport for not telling him to take a deep breath and think twice before calling a press conference.

In this particular case the proposed solution to the carnage on our roads is to stop people who have failed their driving test from driving.

Reports this morning said Minister for Transport Martin Cullen was planning reforms that would see provisional license holders forced to undergo more tuition and re-sit the test before they are allowed to drive again.

At first glance this seems like a great idea but there are several problems.

Firstly and most obviously it currently takes 18 months to get a test. You cannot take people off the roads for 18 months depending on the mood of a driving examiner. The waiting period for a test should be no longer than 1 month if this idea was to be a runner.

Secondly the government does not provide driving instruction and private lessons are expensive, for example the prices from one major driving school are

1 Lesson - €37
5 Lessons - €175
10 Lessons - €340
Pre-Test Course (4 Lessons) - €135

Young people can’t afford driving lessons so of course they can't drive properly. If you are going to force people to sit a certain number of lessons then the government must provide a cheaper alternative.

Thirdly people seem to pass or fail at the whim of the driving examiner. Some people I know failed for stupidly vague things like "driving too far from the edge of the road". They were not over the white line or even too close to the white line, just not close enough to the edge for the examiners liking. Maybe the examiner was trying to pick flowers or something. Other drivers I know passed despite driving on footpaths during their tests but were told, "you just need some experience, and sure you wont get that without your license". If you are a pedestrian in Ireland you will know that footpaths and pedestrian crossings are not something fully qualified drivers pay much notice to. There has to be a happy medium between the two standards.

Fourthly the Department of Transport that has come up with this idea that could take up to 400,000 drivers off Irish roads is also responsible for the public transport network. A public transport network that is suffering from chronic under funding, laughable timetables, expensive tickets and white elephant projects that cost a premium and service a minimum. Until they provide a decent nation wide alternative to the car, people who have not passed their driving test will continue to be forced to drive, legally or illegally.

And finally driving examination centers do not provide cars. You have to bring your own, either hired for the day or one you own. If after failing the test you cannot drive away from the center until you re-sit your test how exactly do they propose you should get your car out of the center? Should you just park it in their car park and come back in 18 months to re-sit your test?

The carnage on our roads will not be solved by taking away the licenses of one section of the community. They might as well just raise the driving age to 26 and be done with it. This problem requires imagination, investment and ambition, things this government has been lacking in the last few years.

Free WiFi in Cafe Java?

For a while I've been looking around for a coffee shop that I can go to at the weekend when I'm in town and get free WiFi with my coffee. Now I've found one, Cafe Java in Donnybrook had a sign up saying they are offering "Free WIFI access" in all their cafes.

Cool. Branches are at Upper Leeson Street, South Anne Street, Blackrock, Sandymount and Donnybrook.

I used to prefer Coffee Society for my caffeine fix, but they use BitBuzz who charge an arm and a leg for their WiFi. Cafe Java if more food oriented than casual coffee drinking, but if they really are offering free WiFi then I'll switch.

Update 27 April: I went to Cafe Java for coffee at lunch. Unfortunately I could see the network but for some reason my PDA would not connect to it. I wasn't asked for a key, and the PDA said the signal strength was good to normal and the network was open, but it just wouldn't connect. I asked the staff if I needed a voucher or something but they didn't know anything about the free WiFi. For the moment I'll assume it was my PDA acting up and I'll try again later.

Cigarettes are good for you :-)

Well, no of course they aren't, and anyone who says they are is an idiot but you have to admire the sheer audacity of a company that thinks they can make a healthy cigarette by adding some vitamins :-)

A Quebec company is producing a cigarette it claims does not stain teeth, has less of an odour than regular brands and contains beneficial ingredients like vitamin C.

Of course Health Canada were a little direct in their rebuttal

"I say this half-jokingly: a safe cigarette is one that's not lit," Health Canada spokesperson Mathew Cook said.

But lets not forget that you can actually overdose with vitamin C so if that 100 a day habit doesn't kill you then the vitamins may so the job instead. Course this "healthy" cigarette will still get you kicked out of Irish pubs, and rightly so, but a friend of mine thinks he has found the solution to that, though I somehow don't see it taking off.

[Via Gizmodo]

Wi-Fi in Galway?

I just saw a press release on ElectricNews.net discussing eGalway week. Much of it sounds like fluff, showing off the internet to people.

The event, which takes place this week, includes the Broadband Conference and Expo, which is due to kick off on Wednesday in the Radisson Hotel. Internet Service Providers, e-businesses, the public sector and international firms such as eBay will gather to demonstrate the possibilities the internet opens up to people, in an attempt to encourage people into adopting high-speed internet access.

However at the bottom of the release is an interesting little sentence

Meanwhile, Galway City Council has announced that Wi-Fi access will now be available at Eyre Square.

What exactly does "available" mean? Wi-Fi access is "available" all over Dublin, but it's commercial and you have to pay ridiculous charges. Is the Wi-Fi in Eyre Square free? Part of me suspects it isn't since they would have publicised it more if it was, but I'm very open to correction on the matter. If it is free then three cheers for Galway City Council for being more progressive and up to date than Dublin. Hopefully Dublin City Council would consider doing something similar on, for example, O'Connell Street and St Stephens Green. Remember, the free Wi-Fi that was around some telephone boxes a couple of years ago now seems to be pay for use, or it was when I tried a few weeks ago. By a happy coincidence I will be in Galway this weekend and will check, but if anyone already knows then please let me know.

Update 1 May: I was in Eyre Square over the weekend. I was able to detect several Wi-Fi networks but most were secure. The two open ones were an Eircom one that still required a username and password and one from a near-by hotel. I presume the Eircom one was the one being referred to in the press release. So no free Wi-Fi.

Bush popularity

Less than one third of American voters now approve of the way President Bush is handling his job. The way I see it, this is one of the weaknesses of the American Presidential system. A President can become so unpopular that he becomes what Americans refer to as a lame duck president. His Presidency may have failed in the eyes of the electorate but he still has time in his term so no one can really do anything about the situation.

In a parliamentary system if a Prime Minister becomes hideously unpopular either the government will fall and an early election will be held, or if the governing party is strong enough they can just vote for a new leader, and therefore a new prime minister, giving themselves a fresh start without having to sit around for 2 more years and hope things don't get worse. The Republican party must be praying that the next 2 years pass quickly and they don't loose too many seats in the mid term elections.

Munster, Munster, Munster

Wonderful result yesterday. Most of the "experts" had predicted a close match with Leinster winning in the end but no one seems to have told Munster that they were supposed to roll over and let Leinster through to the Heineken Cup final. From the first minute Munster were dominant and the final score line of Leinster 6 Munster 30 was a little bit flattering but not terribly unjust, the last try was something of a cave-in by Leinster once they realized that they could not catch Munster.

I didn’t have a ticket for the match, and to be honest while I am a Munster fan I know people who are much more fanatical about Munster than I am, like my brother, so if I had managed to get a ticket I would have probably passed it on to him if he had been without one. Still, as I have mentioned elsewhere, since I couldn’t get into Lansdowne Road I figured there was only one other place worth watching the match in Dublin. Kielys of Donnybrook, the epicenter of Leinster Rugby.

It was a bit of a gamble but I thought if Munster won it would be the place to be to watch the Leinster fans cry into their pints of "Ken". The flip side of that would be the slagging that would accompany a Munster loss as I cried into my pint of Carlsberg. Still, since Kielys is practically my local I decided I would chance it. From the moment I walked in and the barman spotted me in the mob waiting for beer I knew I was onto a winner, I was served straight away. Whether that was a nod towards my "regular" status or a desire to get my red Munster jersey away from the bar I'm not sure. I settled down at the bar in front of one of the screens and watched the pre-match analysis and the crowd.

Frank McNally wrote in today’s Irish Times:

Even before the match, Munster dominated them in most key areas. The visitors established numerical supremacy in Doheny & Nesbitt's, Searson's, and the Waterloo Inn. A flying column even penetrated Kiely's of Donnybrook - Leinster HQ - and was holding its own there as late as an hour before the game.

The local Leinster fans were fairly vocal in their support, cheering every shot of a Leinster jersey or flag and booing (in a friendly manner) Munster. However they did most of their cheering before the game started. As the game continued Munster applied the pressure but were never out of sight so the fans were pretty tense. I figured that maybe at best 10% of the crowd in Kielys were Munster fans, there was only a handful of Munster jerseys and the Munster fans were being strategically quiet when surrounded by Leinster fans. However when Ronan O'Gara sprinted over the line to score his try half the pub erupted and the other half sank into their seats. When the Trevor Halstead gave Munster their third try on 80 minutes it was like all the Leinster fans had left the bar and Munster had taken over. It was now Kielys of Limerick, not Kielys of Donnybrook.

In fairness the Leinster fans were magnanimous in defeat, admitting the better team won and wishing us all the best for the final. Munster will be representing the whole of Ireland in Cardiff on May 20th.

Renters Rights

30 people in Ireland got scammed last week by a man who rented all of them an apartment in Dublin that it appears he didn't own and gave them keys that didn't work. It is reported that he made around €35,000 from the con.

Daft.ie seems to be getting some unwelcome press coverage about the issue, but you cant really blame them as it appears that the advert was also in newspapers and other web sites. If fact Daft were able to take down the advert when they became aware of the con, but obviously the newspapers would have still been in circulation.

The whole thing just serves to highlight the fact that despite the governments press releases and toothless committees on the rights of tenants most people renting are completely exposed to the whims of their landlord when it comes to deposits, rent and conditions. With property prices rising so steeply many people are being priced out of the market and forced to continue renting. The government wont really act to help them since people renting often don't re-register to vote when they move apartment so there are no votes to be won, and property developers and investors are major contributers to political parties so there is incentive to rock the boat for them.

Why I hate unions

These days I hate trade unions. Don't get me wrong, I'm against the idea of a trade union, nor am I against the important issues that trade unions promote. I think that a union does play an important role in preventing unscrupulous employers from abusing their workforce. Many of the important work place improvements of the last century are as a direct result of trade unions.

However, like every organization with high ideals trade unions can, and often do, get dominated by the extremists and the die hards who would rather see the whole workforce go out on strike and close the factory than compromise on some minor idea or notion they have.

A case in point would appear to be the union in Waterford that took a stance on relocation of a factory and now may cost the entire workforce of 120 people their jobs.

The company wants to move production of its cookers and ranges to a premises on the IDA industrial estate three miles away.

The union representing most of the manufacturing staff, the TEEU, wants €2,300 for each employee for the relocation.

The company says it will not pay relocation money as it will cost the company at least €500,000.

Was the relocation really that severe? Let's be honest, three miles is not that great a distance, it's certainly not worth loosing your job over. Was this just a case of someone deciding to take a chance and see if they could get some easy money from the employer without thinking of the possible consequences?

It the global economy of the new millenium the Irish unions must learn that they can no longer squeeze the employers for every last penny. Companies don't have to stay in an unprofitable, unproductive, troublesome factory in Ireland when Eastern European countries are queuing up for the chance to shower them with new factories, cheaper workforces, and laxer employment laws. It may not seem just, but thats the new reality.

What will happen to the high ranking union officials if the 120 union members loose their jobs? Very little I suspect. Apart from the shop steward all the others will probably keep their jobs. When unions and employers square off frequently the only real looser is the ordinary worker. I wonder if the trade union would do the decent thing and offer the 120 union members jobs in their office? Not bloody likely.

The Perfect Ass

This is a few days old but I thought it would make a suitable Friday posting. A psychology lecturer, David Holmes of Manchester Metropolitan University in England, has come up with a math equation to express the perfect female derriere.

The magical figures are (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V. Though the equation looks rather complicated, it is, according to the scientist, simple.

It assesses shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry – all factors that add up to the bottom line.

S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness.

V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

I guess these things are all a matter of taste, but Dr Holmes did give an example of the person he believes has the perfect, mathematically proven, behind so you could use that as a baseline should you like to modify the equation to match your tastes.

Dr Holmes said that Kylie Minogue, whose celebrated bottom relaunched her career with the help of a pair of hotpants, would almost certainly score a perfect 80.

Personally I can’t really argue with him there. Still the day to day usefulness of this equation may be some what limited as no math equation could ever replace observation and hands on practical experimentation.

[via Boing Boing]

Time for Bush to learn the Art of War?

Chinese President Hu Jintao has given Geoge W. Bush a copy of Sun Tzu's "The Art of War".

Anyone else think Hu is taking the piss, just a little? :-). It's good to see international diplomacy can have a sense of humor. Maybe next week Vladimir Putin will give Bush a copy of War and Peace and Jacques Chirac will give him The Vietnam War for Dummies.